Rum. Rum is good.

...


I hope everyone has been well. I was awfully ill last week, and before that things were such that I haven't been able to go properly into lj, ij, jf and dw for a long time. The end result is that my email accounts are a mess and I daren't dnld mails to outlook express till I clean them up online first. I'll be doing that from afternoon today. I feel almost nearly myself today.

Almost.


Also, I plan to buy the paperback of 'Unseen Academicals' as soon as it is out !

But that's a long way away :(

...

...


I want Johnny Depp to play Moist von Lipwig XD


... ... ...

( Lyrics from 'Sweeney Todd' )
... ... ...



I'd also like 'The Most Holy St Bobby' to be played by one of my favourite characters from another fandom :) :)


Anyone want a nice little picture of Death from 'The Last Hero' ?


Interesting - Cohen the Barbarian and Carelinus come from the same rl mould XD XD

This one -

XD

...

...


It is actually possible to remain at a high level of searing fury (plateauing with a large number of peaks) for a period longer than a year. Interesting ...

I think I really, really like writing Vetinari-fic *Giggle* It's coming along well. I like reading it. That's really funny :D

Go, old thing ! I like it :) :) I like it even more that it was possible to finally find some guts somewhere and walk out from association/s with officially racist organisations :)

...

...


Must rec this post - [identity crisis] On Race, or Privilege, Or Just Being Human


And in a vaguely related way, these Discworld/PTerry fics :)


Apart from that, there are notifications that I don't get at my email, and then when I randomly go into someplace I find a notification WTF ?! I'm too old to go searching everything/where for things, I like things to reach where I want them to WTH ! I repeat I'm too old for these hunt-fer-teh-notific'ns gameZ *Raspberry* Dontchaknow lj dat we be old women here ? Gah

...

...


'Above the noise of the river and the occasional drip of water from the ceiling they could all hear, now, the steady slosh-slosh of another craft heading towards them.

'Someone's following us!' hissed Magrat.

Two pale glows appeared at the edge of the lamplight. Eventually they turned out to be the eyes of a small grey creature, vaguely froglike, paddling towards them on a log.

It reached the boat. Long clammy fingers grabbed the side, and a lugubrious face rose level with Nanny Ogg's.

' 'ullo,' it said. 'It'sss my birthday.'

All three of them stared at it for a while. Then Granny Weatherwax picked up an oar and hit it firmly over the head. There was a splash, and a distant cursing.

'Horrible little bugger,' said Granny, as they rowed on. 'Looked like a troublemaker to me.'

'Yeah,' said Nanny Ogg. 'It's the slimy ones you have to watch out for.'

'I wonder what he wanted?' said Magrat.'

I wonder what Granny's bddate is ...

...

...


My profile here looks quite repulsive at the moment. No doubt I will learn to ignore it in time. I mean the repulsiveness. *Goes off to read fanfics*

*Returns momentarily* I think Johnny Depp would do a lovely Anthony Crowley. He's got the perfect cheekbones for it. Who would do the Aziraphale one if Johnny's doing Crowley ? *Goes back to fanfics*

...

...




Happy Pujas !!!

...


Some rather decent PTerry fics I found :) - Here, three of them.

Yep, I know I posted them before, but that was in a f-locked post ... ...



And, of course, WHEEEEEEE !!! Hee.

...

...


Ain't they pretty ? :)
Grand ... Absolutely Grand !! *Fervent Admiration*


( Duckies ! )

...

...

Hmm. Just finished watching the 'Hogfather'. Teatime has Voldie whacked to hell and back again as far as real villainy is concerned *Giggle* Mmmmmmmmm ...

...

...


For the upcoming year -

'Dat's Me !'



...

...


... from carlanime ...

( ... meme ... )


Hmm ... ... Consistent ...



Do stuff begin getting set to default if not regularly redirected ? *worries*




Well, whatever ...... PTerry's 'Making Money' coming out tomorrow ! YAY !!



And 'm Zombie-isH watching way too many cricket matches Laaaaaate at nights ... *Nodding off momentarily at intervals*

...

...


Watch Cricket Matches ICC World Twenty20, 2007/08 :-

- Tue 11, 18:00 local, 16:00 GMT 1st Match, Group A - South Africa v West Indies, New Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg

- Sat 15 , 18:00 local, 16:00 GMT 12th Match, Group A - South Africa v Bangladesh, Newlands, Cape Town





Get PTERRY's 'Making Money'

Blurb :- It’s an offer you can’t refuse.

Who would not to wish to be the man in charge of Ankh-Morpork’s Royal Mint and the bank next door?

It’s a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long.

The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There’s something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mint runs at a loss. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he’s about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact lot of people want him dead.

Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies.

Everywhere he looks he’s making enemies.

What he should be doing is . . . Making Money!

...

...


I read the outline of hp-DH a while ago. I didn't like it. It's the most jumbled of the lot. *Sneery nod* I'm not going to read it before I (re)finish 'The Truth' --- PTerry's, of course ...

...

...



Right then, here goes.
And deities change, from female to male.


The 3 Raths / Rathas (= Perches ? / Sacred Enclosures ?) :-

( The 3 Raths )

Naandighosha, Darpadalan, Taaladhwaaj (from left to right)
Edited To Correct :-
Taaladhwaj, Darpadalana, Naandighosha (from left to right)

Links - 'Rath-Yatra' :-
http://rathjatra.nic.in/
http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=rath+yatra&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

The Deities mounted in said Rathas (in reverse same order from as the names of the Rathas) :-

( The 3 Deities )

Balabhadra, Suvadra, Jagannatha



So, now who will tell me that

( Kali, at Kalighat )

and the Deity depicted right of the viewer in the picture before this one are not actually same and identical ?


No one , I hope ?



After all, it's not as if some feature in one of the two depictions, such as the Lion's mane of/in


( Sakhmet )


conflicted with preconceived ideas of the possible gender of said deity and so had to be/has to be/got turned into


( Narsimha )


for it to become acceptable/understandable/both acceptable and understandable to the minds of the populace, Hmm ?



Why on Earth change the gender at all ? Ridiculous !! *Snigger* The human mind ! What it won't do to establish it's preconceptions ?! *SmirkSnigger*

And anyways, what's with Deities and genders ? Why aren't deities genderless ? Makes it easier all around, really ...
*Adores Aziraphale and Crowley*
*Also ADORES Metatron from the film 'DOGMA'*

...


( More Linx for the Analogy ... )

...

...


Building may house emperor's soul
July 01 2007 at 11:16AM
Beijing - Chinese archaeologists have discovered an ancient and mysterious subterranean building near the tomb of the nation's legendary first emperor, state media reported on Sunday.
The building, more than 2000 years old, is hidden inside a 51-metre-high pyramid-shaped earth mound on top of the tomb ( ...... )
The building is situated near the famed terracotta warriors ( ...... )
Qinshihuang, who lived towards the end of the third century BC, unified China in an extremely brutal fashion. He has been an idol for many subsequent leaders, ( ...... )

...


But ... but PTerry wrote this in 1994 ! In 1994, Yes ! *Runs to re-read 'Interesting Times'*

...


der_bittre told me today that if only I had an equator instead of a waist, I'd be Sgt. Jackrum to the life.

:D

:D


Quote from 'Monstrous Regiment' about Sgt. Jackrum :-

'And if he appeared to be backing away, it was indeed only to get a run-up later on.'

*Snorfle*

Oi, der_bittre, you'd better not go around letting everyone onto this now, old chap !

:D

:D



And from tinnidawg ...

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Yessss !!!

...



And, from longlongwaytogo ......

OMG !

( I'm Zombie-Killer ! )

But, no, really, I wouldn't hurt Reg Shoe, ever. I wouldn't.

Or, for that matter, Windle Poons.

...

…


It's recently (early-ish April, 2007) been proved serologically that dinosaurs are very, very closely related to chickens.

But PTerry told us that quite a while ago, in 1998, actually.


( From PTerry's 'The Last Continent' … )



ETA : All really intelligent scientists should read PTerry before even formulating projects in their minds.

…

...


Continuing from http://ajat.livejournal.com/234485.html ...

I'd rather have an edifice erected than have it erupted, really, and as for travelling to, Bare Island would be preferable to Bear Island ...

So there !
Not their, or they're *Giggle*

===


Possibly haunted by chickens ...

PTerry ROX !

===


What a lovely challenge here - http://community.livejournal.com/deleterius/2724501.html Ooo have a look have a look Go on !

===





( Note to my assiduous stalkers, hence NOT for f-list )

…


From
http://www.discworldmonthly.co.uk - [dwm] Discworld Monthly - Issue 120, dated 29 March 2007 10:34

'News
There is a new petition up on the UK Government's official Number 10 website to suggest that Terry is awarded a knighthood for his service to literature. You need to be a UK resident to be able to sign the petition. On Monday 19th March there was a grand total of
15 signatures, so a bit of work is needed.'

To vote, please go to
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/Pratchett/


Please rec this around as much as is possible.

Thank you.

:)

…

...


Havelock score gone up. *Smirk* Good.


( Now ... 94% ... )

...



Year - end.
Interesting year. Yes. Definitely.



First --- Thank You – s in chronological order : -


( Here goes … )





( Let's get on, then … )





( And then … )

...


( Havelock Score Check ... )


Daresay that's why counterplanning's making me all nice and comfily warm ... *Smirk*

...

...


Merry Christmas !

And

Happy Hogswatch !


:)

...


A definition of 'fluff' that I really, really think is perfect in my perception ...


"An Excerpt from 'Thud', By Terry Pratchett --- A Conversation Between Havelock Vetinari And Sam Vimes ...

'Indeed, Vimes, and possibly that is why the dwarf contingent were less than cautious in drinking copiously from beer that had been considerably fortified? Areas of Sator Square, I gather, still smell faintly of apples, Vimes. One could come to believe, therefore, that what they were drinking was in fact a mixture of strong beer and scumble, which is, as you know, distilled from apples -'

'Uh, mostly apples, sir,' said Vimes helpfully.

'Quite. The cocktail is known as Fluff, I believe. ...'"


Yet another reason why I prefer 'Fluff' to all other genres, Except 'Crack', ofcourse.


;D

...


* Modified my profile page ...

... ( with )


* Currently busy reading 'Wintersmith' ...


* Read some pretty good fics in the Puja - Special - Mags !

...


NATURAL PREDATORS Of TROLLS !

Trolls have certain naturally-occurring enemies. Among them are :

Troll Bashers : The worst enemy of trolls, Troll Bashers appear to possess an almost pathological hatred for trolls. Fully aware of the tools and tactics of trolling, Troll Bashers expose trolls whenever they see them. Often the first to identify Contrarians, and unforgiving in the pursuit of Deceptives, Troll Bashers are experienced and venomous. Often accused of being trolls themselves, Troll Bashers understand the difference between the initiation of trolling and the retaliation against it – and believe any amount of retaliatory abuse is justified when a troll rears its ugly head.


;D


Dat's Me ! Teh Troll-Basher ! Ha Ha Ha !


'slong's 'm On Roundworld, Ofcourse !


..........



[Some Excerpts From Sites With Definitions And Descriptions Of Trollish Behaviour :


Often, a person will post a sincere message about which he is emotionally sensitive. Skillful trolls know that an easy way to upset the person is to falsely claim that they are a "troll." In forums where most users are similar to each other, outsiders may be perceived as trolls simply because they do not fit into the social norms of that group. It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between a user who merely has different values, views, or ideas, and a user who is intentionally trolling. This can lead to genuinely hostile behavior, including flame wars. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll)

Classic Troll Tactic Number 6 : Have a tantrum. When all their other tricks are exhausted, Classic Trolls will become angry and start shouting. Often they revert to Vulgar Trolls when this happens.

Classic Troll Tactic Number 7 : The insincere apology. Similar to Tactic 4, this involves pretending to repent for one's trolling and is accompanied often by great melodrama. Insincere troll apologists hope that they'll be forgiven if only they act disgusted enough with their own behavior.

Contrarian Troll Warning Sign Number Four : Accusing the accusers. When confronted with their trolling, trolls immediately respond that it is the accusers who are trolls (see Natural Predators below). Often the Contrarian will single out his most vocal opponent and claim that while he can respect his other opponents, this one in particular is beneath his notice.

Contrarian Warning Sign Number Five : Attempts to condescend. Pursued by Troll Bashers (see Natural Predators below), the Contrarian will seek refuge in condescending remarks that repeatedly scorn his or her critics as beneath notice – all the while continuing to respond to them.

Contrarian Warning Sign Number Six : One distinctive mark of Contrarian Trolls is that every thread in which they dissent quickly devolves into a debate about who is trolling whom.

Sophist Trolls : are an extremely hostile and intolerant species.
When confronted by opinions with which they do not agree – particularly when they do not see any means of successfully arguing their contrary views – Sophists resort (repeatedly) to a variety of intellectually dishonest tactics. Most often, this is characterized by an overly snide, condescending, patronizing attitude. Philotrolls consider anyone with whom they do not agree to be "immature,"

The Mutt : Alternatively known as Dogs or Yapping Dogs. Mutts are pack animals characterized by their loud barking – vociferous, repetitive, usually ignorant and irrational criticism of anything and anyone they do not like. Mutts frequently become obsessed with a few or even a single poster with whom they disagree, often for purely personal reasons. Like a dog gnawing at a bone, the Mutt will attack the object of its ire over and over again, making a fool of itself in the eyes of those who understand such childish behavior for what it is. Often one Mutt in a group of Yapping Dogs will act as the alpha of the pack, while the others chime in to voice their mindless (but loud) support for their leader's opinions.

The Pretender Troll : The mutant offspring of Bitter Trolls, Pretenders become outraged when outed and attempt to channel their distress by mimicking their tormentors. Pretenders always "accuse the accusers," as they say, frequently (and falsely) charging that they are being wrongly labeled for merely dissenting in the course of a debate. Pretenders sometimes try to invent their own species labels and descriptions in desperate attempts to deflect and redirect the attention of other forumites. They may also ape the language and demeanor of their accusers (though they typically fail).

Forum cultists : place a very high premium on groupthink and generally react to differing opinions with outrage, banning all who dare to speak them.
No activity gives a forum cultist more joy than to speak ill of a member who has been judged a heretic and banned. The forum cultist knows he may say whatever he likes about the banished member without consequence. As forum cultists are generally cowards who derive a sense of strength from the company of the virtual mob, these are the only times such individuals can feel safe enough to speak their minds. (http://forums.station.sony.com/mxo/posts/list.m?topic_id=12200012985)]

..........

...



( Wheeeee ! I scored as Death ! I can now speak in caps wheneffer I like ! )

...


O_O







Teh picture, albeit in different format, will also be crossposted to blast_n_rip and olivegreengarb (HEX-lj of Havelock Vetinari) in an interesting take on the game of cricket from Lord Vetinari's perspective.

...

( Vetinari’s Musings, 7 Feb )

( Prequel to above )

Amazing ! --- this ---

Now  if  only  the  chappie'd  had  hiz  speccies  on,  he'd  look  even  more  like  Ponder  Stibbons  from  teh  DISCWORLD  then  he  does  already ;  which  I  admit  is  rather  difficult ...

:)

***************************

RL is a beach, and then you DIE !



I hate viruses !

***************************
***************************
***************************


( And Veeru dahling's bluddy SICK again, DAMMIT ; why him every time ?!! )

...


I was reminded irresistibly of Brutha’s journey (‘Small Gods’ by Terry Pratchett) when I saw these pictures of the desert (And ALL credit to skarch86 for the absolutely fantastic flanking pictures !!!) (  so it became a ‘Mid-morning – Afternoon – Night – Sunrise’  ) and now I look at this whenever I read ‘Small Gods’.



And this pic is for you, skarch86, to remind you of the peacocks.

:)

( Here, have a look and I hope you enjoy it ).

...


Well !
I seem to continually stay 'in character', don't I ?

Just WOW !

:D



You scored as Lord Havelock Vetinari.

( I AM LORD HAVELOCK VETINARI )

Purloined from brixbruxelles

...

Which of the Valier (Silmarillion ~ LotR) are You ?

You are

Varda,
Queen of the Stars.

You are the most beautiful and powerful of all the Valier, and are most beloved of the Elves.
They praise you, and cry out to you in their need.
You are the spouse of Manwe.



Take this quiz!



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What Is Your Daemon?

BUTTERFLY

Your daemon may be a butterfly.
It is ironic that the butterfly traditionally represents the psyche, yet it is one of the least emotive physical forms that your daemon can take.
It is very hard to tell what a butterfly is feeling, and perhaps that is why you feel so comfortable with this form.
You have many, many friends and a beautiful soul, but you don't like to reveal what your innermost feelings are.
You aren't afraid to be yourself - you are vibrant and colourful.
But at the same time, you don't like to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Take this quiz!



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To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?

Numenorean


Take this quiz!



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( You scored as Special Ops. You're sneaky, tactful, and a loner. You prefer to do your jobs alone, working where you don't come into contact with people. But every once in a while you hit it big and are noticed and given fame. You are given the more sensitive problems. You get things done, and do what has to be done. )

Are you female or male? Male

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

You scored as Eriador. Eriador is your home, the Elvish name. The Western Lands that lay between the Misty Mountains and the Blue Mountains. In which Bree, and the shire can be found. Rohan 83% Eriador 83% Lothlorien 83% The Shire 67% Fangorn Forest 58% Rhun 58% Mirkwood 50% Gondor 50% Harad 50% Mordor 42% Isengard 33% Moria 33% The Undying Lands 25% Where In Middle Earth are you from ? created with QuizFarm.com

Which planet are you? Jupiter Jupiter is the fifth planet from the sun and largest planet of the solar system.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

...



This was written in my salad lj-days for perposterice using one of mctabby’s memorable ‘Summery(summary ?) Executions’ --- "It's Shakespeare, people, and it's AWSOM!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Weird Sisters


SummEry : "It's Shakespeare, people, and it's AWSOM!"

Author : ajat

Rating : PG.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dramatis Personae

Minerva McGonagall, a cat Animagus posing as a Crone.
Professor Sprout, a magical Herbologist acting as a Witch.
Severus Snape, a Potions Master masquerading as a Witch, in his normal swirly flouncy BLACK robes and NOT in any kind of feminine apparel whatsoever !
Albus Dumbledore, the deceased ex-Headmaster of Hogwarts.
A Woman, an unnaturally blond woman who writes stories.
Lord Voldemort, a Dark Lord.
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, students from Hogwarts School of Magic, etc., etc..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene : An overcrowded living room with a large cauldron in the middle of the floor.

Enter three witches, one in something green, another in something nondescript, the third all in black.


Witch 1 : So, we meet again.

Witch 2 : Oh, but didn't we meet today morning at the staff meeting ?

Witch 3 (grumbling in a voice that reveals that 'she' is, in fact, a he) : Minerva, what possessed you to rope me into this ... this convention of weird sisters ?

Witch 1 : There are a multitude of reasons, of which the chief one is that you are the only one I know who actually enjoys mucking around with filthy cauldrons. I certainly wouldn't deign to touch one and Professor Sprout here, while perfectly at ease around the feistiest of Mandrakes and Devil's Snares, is actually terrified of cauldrons exploding into her face. Even cold ones.

Witch 3 : Huh ! Why am I not surprised ? With Longbottom as her favourite student ... Well, anyway, why don't you admit that everyone's convinced that you are as mad as a hatter and won't go with you to heaven if you asked them to on bended knees ? And so, here I am.

Witch 1 : Shut up !

Witch 2 : But I didn't say anything.

Witch 1 : Did you bring the things I'd asked for ?

Witch 2 : Yes, yes, here they are. (Hands over a bundle)

Witch 1 : Here, Severus, start your work.

Witch 3 : I shall do nothing of the sort ! You two cut them up into the right-sized pieces, and then maybe I will make the potion.

Witch 1 and 2 : Maybe !?

Witch 3 : Alright, alright, I'll do it. Go on, chop them up. Here are the instructions. (Waves a wand and closely written, almost unreadable instructions appear hanging in the air as if written on a transparent board)

Witch 1 (glares) : If anything goes wrong because we couldn't read the instructions, I'll scratch your eyes out.

Witch 3 (derisively) : Miaow !

Witch 2 : Oh, Minerva, let's get on with it.

Witches 1 and 2 start chopping things.

Witch 3 walks around, touching the surfaces of furniture, checking his fingers and looking extremely disapproving at the amount of dust he finds.


Curtain falls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene : The overcrowded living room with a large cauldron in the middle of the floor.

The three witches stand around the cauldron, which is smoking and occasionally, spitting. There is no fire beneath it.


Witch 1 : Severus, are you sure you are doing this right ?

Witch 3 : Shut up, you frightful cat.

Witch 2 : There, there, don't you two start now.

Witch 1 : Humph !

Witch 3 : Now, stand back, both of you. (Witches 1 and 2 step back hurriedly as Witch 3 drops a piece of purple fabric into the cauldron)

There is a huge eruption of multicoloured smoke and everything is obscured for a few moments, through which can be heard the coughs of two feminine voices and one masculine one.

Witch 3 : Bloody smoke ! Can't do without it, I suppose. Always making a bloody entrance ...

The smoke thins.

Dumbledore walks up through it, dressed in magenta and pink and neon green.

Witch 1 : Albus !
Witch 2 : Albus !
Witch 3 : (turns away, looking furious).


Curtain falls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene : The overcrowded living room with a desk in the middle. Only the desk-lamp is on.

A woman, with unnaturally blond hair, sits at a desk piled with books, papers and a computer. She is writing industriously, with pencil, on paper.


Woman (throws down pencil) : Damn ! Just missing the damn thing every time ! A bit more and someone will sue me as a plagiarist ! I wish I had some original thoughts ! Like those fanficcers. Between them, they have used every plotline I could ever think of even before I thought of them ! Damn, damn, damn ! Last time I bailed myself out using breakfast cereals and the prime minister, dammit !


All the lights come on.

A man sits on the other side of the desk. He wears a deep-coloured, perfectly made suit and a hat which shades most of his face.


Woman : You ? Who are you ? How did you come in ?

Man : Do you not know me ?

Woman : Who the hell are you ?

Man : Dear lady, if you do not know me, then no one else will. I merely wished to ask you a few questions.

Woman : (aside) Possibly I could make an original plotline out of this. (to man) Just tell me, who are you ?

Man : I am ... perhaps you'd say ... your creation. You created me. (Takes off his hat)

Woman : Oh.

Man (his eyes blazing red) : Lady, you created me. Before you wrote me, I was in potentia, such that I could be, or not. You decided that I was to be. And then you made me. And, I have exceptional objections to the way you made me to be !

Woman : Speak English, will you. (aside) 'm prolly pissed. Too many sherrys. An’ 'm dreaming. (to man) Oy, that's a nice pair of contacts. Nice bit of laser projection thingy, too. Good show as Lord Voldemort. But you really must speak English, otherwise no one's going to understand you.

Lord Voldemort (rising from the chair) : I am Lord Voldemort ! (Waves hand, materialises wand, then writes in air before him in fiery letters) I AM LORD VOLDEMORT

Woman (claps) : Hi, that's a nice trick. Do you think you could do some shows ? With me ? We can go ... say, seventyfive-twentyfive ?

Dumbledore enters and approaches the desk. His robes shimmer strangely. He stops just behind the sitting woman.

Lord Voldemort (staring) : There he is ! The green spectre ! He now haunts me day and night, and assures me that he will do so for all eternity ! With lemon drops !

Woman (looks around) : Where ? Where ?

Lord Voldemort : Behind you, you unnatural hag !

Woman (miffed) : Hey, there's no need to call me names. Awright, I'll make it thirty-seventy, how about it, then ?

Lord Voldemort : You --- you are the perpetrator of this farce in my life. I ask that you alter it !

Woman : Are you sure you haven't escaped from some mental home or something ? I mean ... wait a sec, maybe I need to ring the police. Or maybe the hospitals ? Or something ?

Lord Voldemort : Your hands ! They are smothered in blood ! All the alkali from the Dead Sea will not whiten those hands ! And you dared create me with such hands !

Woman : Hmm ? No, it's ink, actually. And some indelible marker stuff. A spot of turp, and voila ! They'll be fine ! Writing's hard work, you know. Sudden inspirations and things. I always keep some paper napkins and marker pens handy.


*Diuerse alarums !*

Enter Harry Potter, with a large bunch of dandelions in his hands. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger accompany him.

The three Witches enter and stop a little way behind the desk.


Harry : Professor McGonagall, I brought the dandelions as you'd asked me to.

Hermione : Harry, she said flowers, not dandelions.

Ron : Hey, what's the problem ? We brought whatever we could find.

Witch 3 : Moronic child ! Dandelions ? Could you not find something better ? Maybe some poison ivy which would, at the very least, give you a rash ?

Harry : Hey Snape …

Hermione : Professor Snape.

Harry : Shut up. I'll call him whatever I like !

Ron : Yeah, it should actually be Mud.

Harry : You're one to talk, Snape ! You murdered Dumbledore ! In front of me !

Lord Voldemort : Harry Potter. So we meet yet again !

Harry : Slit-eyes ! Not because I wanted to.

Lord Voldemort : Look carefully, foolish creature. No more slit eyes.

Ron : Hey, he looks cool, actually.

Hermione : Actually, quite intellectual looking. Handsome, really. I can see what Ginny saw in him.

Harry (throws away the dandelions) : 'm gonna kill you.

Lord Voldemort : I think not. Dumbledore is right there, go and talk to him instead.

Ron : Oh no. Oh no no. Harry, you just kill him first.

Harry pulls his wand out.

Lord Voldemort (waves his hand to materialise his wand) : Foolish children, do you think Lord Voldemort can be defeated so easily ?

Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter face off.

Woman (jumping up from desk) : Whoa, not in my living room, dudes ! Just go do this somewhere else, like the Trafalgar Square or something. Go on. Bugger off. Shoo !

Lord Voldemort (turns) : Avada Kedavra !

An actinic green flash fills the room with green smoke. There is a sound of wood scratching against wood.

When the green smoke clears, there is only the body of the woman in the room, lying on the floor next to the desk.

A genuinely amused chortle fills the room and the lights dim out as the curtain falls.






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Here's A Superb Spinoff From 'WEIRD SISTERS' By bluejeanphoenix ...

And A Marvellous Bit of Art, Too, By pinkelephant42 ...


Both Placed Here For Easier Ref. ...